Emotional Health Check-Up

Leadership Journal

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PMIN 702: Advanced Ministry Administration

Regent University

Fall 2018

 

Table of Contents

I. Emotional Health Check-Up

II. Genogram – Looking Back in order to go Forward 

III. APEST Assessment

IV. Leading out of Marriage or Singleness 

V. Establishing a Rule of Life

VI. Principles of Rest – Sabbath Keeping 

VII. Making Plans and Decisions God’s Way

VIII. Working with Teams 

IX. Understanding Power and Establishing Boundaries

X. Endings and New Beginnings

XI. Final Observations about Emotional Health and Leadership

 

Section 1

Week #1 h- Emotional Health Check-Up

“The emotionally unhealthy leader is someone who operates in a continuous state of emotional and spiritual deficit, lacking emotional maturity” and often substituting their “doing for God” in place of “being with God.” (Scazzero, EHL, 25) These leaders minister from an empty cup, rather than from an overflowing saucer.

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy Is Your Leadership?”

Use the following scale:

5 = Always true of me

4 = Frequently true of me

3 = Occasionally true of me

2 = Rarely true of me

1 = Never true of me

 

__5___   1. I take sufficient time to   experience and process difficult emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness.

 

_____   2.  I am able to identify how issues from my family of origin impact my   relationships and leadership—both negatively and positively.

 

___5__   3. (If married): The way I spend my   time and energy reflects the value that my marriage—not ministry—is my first   priority as a leader.

 

(If single): The way I spend my time and energy reflects the value that   living out a healthy singleness—not ministry—is my first priority as a   leader.

 

__5___   4. (If married): I experience a direct connection between my oneness with Jesus   and oneness with my spouse.

 

(If single): I experience a direct connection between my oneness   with Jesus and closeness with my friends and family.

 

___4__   5.  No matter how busy I am, I consistently practice the spiritual   disciplines of solitude and silence.

 

__4___   6.  I regularly read Scripture and pray in order to enjoy communion with   God and not just in service of ministry tasks.

 

___1__   7.  I practice Sabbath—a weekly twenty-four-hour period in which I   stop my work, rest, and delight in God’s many gifts.

 

__1___   8.  I view Sabbath as a spiritual discipline that is essential for both   my personal life and my leadership.

 

___5__   9. I take time to practice prayerful discernment when making ministry plans   and decisions.

 

___4__   10. I measure the success of planning   and decision-making primarily in terms of discerning and doing God’s will   (rather than exclusively by measures such as attendance growth, excellence in   programming, or expanded impact in the world).

 

___4__   11.  With those who report to me, I consistently devote a portion of my   supervision time to help them in their inner life with God and to accomplish   their ministry goals.

 

__5___   12. I do not avoid difficult conversations with team members about their   performance or behavior.

 

___2__   13. I feel comfortable talking about the use of power in connection with my   role and that of others.

 

___5__   14. I have articulated and established healthy boundaries in relationships   that have overlapping roles (for example, with friends and family who are   also employees or key volunteers, etc.).

 

___4__   15.  Instead of avoiding endings and losses, I embrace them and see them   as a fundamental part of the way God works.

 

__3___   16.  I am able to prayerfully and thoughtfully let go of initiatives,   volunteers, or programs when they aren’t working well, doing so with   compassion and right motives.

Answer   the following questions:

1. What did you   learn about yourself from the assessment? I learned from this assessment that I am,   to an extent, an emotional healthy leader; I realized the I do exhibit   emotional maturity in some of the listing on the emotional health check-up.  Which areas of leadership require more focus and attention? I do not view   sabbath as a spiritual discipline that is essential for both my personal life   and my leadership. What areas are you comfortable with? I am comfortable with   taking sufficient time to experience and process difficult emotions such as   anger, fear, and sadness.

2.   Scazzero mentions four unhealthy commandments of church leadership. Which ones, if any, have been   difficult to overcome?  It’s   not a success Unless It’s Bigger and Better. What has been   modeled for you? After Scazzero crucible ministerial experience, he surface   as an emotionally Healthy Leader. 

3.   Prayerfully begin to consider how you can start the process of changing those   values that are not producing healthy leadership qualities in your life and   ministry. (See pages 44-45 on Learning and Changing)

 

Section 2

Week #2 – Genogram

“Your shadow is the accumulation of untamed emotions, less-than-pure motives and thoughts that, while largely unconscious, strongly influence and shape your behaviors. It is the damaged but mostly hidden version of who you are.” (Scazzero, EHL, 55)

In order to understand the shadows in your life, it is often very helpful to create a genogram of your family. Using the following worksheet, diagram your family. Also, see Appendix 3 on page 313 for a template.

Your genogram (completed diagram) and the answers to the questions on the worksheet are to be included on this page.

Take a step back and consider your genogram. Answer the following questions:

1. What might be one or two insights you are becoming aware of in terms of how your family (or others) impacted who you are today?

2. What are one or two specific ways this may be impacting your leadership in ministry?

 

Section 3

APEST Assessment

Go To: fivefoldsurvey.com. to take the APEST survey

Record the results of the APEST Assessment in this section. Answer the following questions: 

1. How do you see this ministry gift operating in your life? 

2. How can you best steward the gift that God has given you? 

 

Section 4

Week #3 – Embracing and Understanding my Marriage/Singleness in Ministry

The way we handle our relationships reveals a great deal about our values. We can have really good values and still not have great relationships, especially when we use our relationships to fulfill our values. This week, we begin to look at marriage or singleness as a vocation or calling and our leadership as a reflection of that understanding. 

1. If you are married, complete the assessment on page 88 of the EML. If you are single, complete the assessment on page 89 of the EML. What did you learn about yourself from your responses?

2. After reading chapter 3, how has your view of ministry and marriage or ministry and singleness expanded? What impact will these insights have on your life?

3. Take some time to pray for your spouse if you are married (see prayer on page 112) or to pray as a single person (see prayer on page 113). May God increase our capacity to love – ask Him to bring transformation to the areas of your life that are lacking in the ability to reflect His love.

Section 5

Week #4 – Establishing a Rule of Life

“It is possible to build a church, an organization, or a team by relying only on our gifts and talents. We can serve Christ in our own energy. We can expand a ministry without thing much of Jesus or relying on Him in the process. We can preach truths we don’t live. And if our efforts prove successful, few people will notice or take issue with he gaps between who we are and what we do.” (Scazzero, EML, 117)

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Experience of Loving Union with God?” Did you learn anything about yourself that was surprising? What area(s) expose your greatest challenges when it comes to loving God?

2. This chapter invites us to make a paradigm shift in the way we typically think of leading. We are encouraged to lead out of our being, rather than our doing. A way to do this is to create a Rule of Life based on values that will cause us to acknowledge God in everything we think, speak, and do. Complete the Rule of Life Worksheet below to determine your own Rule of Life at this time and place in your journey. Make sure your rule includes some joy, play, and fun.

 

You may use this diagram, create one of your own, or simply make lists for each section.

Answer the following questions:

– Write down everything you currently do that nurtures your spirit and fills you with delight. Don’t limit yourself to typical spiritual activities.

– Write down the activities you need to avoid, that pull you away from remaining anchored in Christ. What things impact your spirit negatively?

– What are the “have to’s” in this season of your life that impact your rhythms?

3. My Rule of Life in this season of my journey is . . .

Section 6

Week #5 – Sabbath Keeping

Sabbath keeping is not something we earn for having completed our work. It is God’s invitation to step into His space where the work is done and rest can begin. It is a reminder of the rhythm of God’s grace in our lives. His grace always comes before our work. Too often ministry leaders allow work to run over every area of life, which disrupts the rhythms of grace that God intended for all creation.

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Practice of Sabbath Delight?” on pages 149-150. What did you learn about yourself through this exercise?

2. What makes it hard for you to rest – intentionally and purposefully set aside time for Sabbath keeping?

3. Make a list of what you will and will not do as a part keeping the Sabbath.

On Sabbath, I will . . . 

On Sabbath, I will not . . . 

4. During the remainder of this class, make an effort to set aside time to participate in Sabbath keeping. Include those things that bring you delight like enjoying people, places, and activities. Make space for rest and contemplation as well. At the end of the session, write about your experience in a paragraph.

Section 7

Week #6 – Making Plans and Decisions God’s Way (Chapter 6)

Christian leaders often make plans based on what they believe is best and then proceed to ask God to bless their plans. We can find the process of waiting on God not only for His will but also for His perfect timing to be exhausting! . The reality is the only way to know God’s plan is to listen to His voice and obey His Word.

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Practice of Planning and Decision Making?” on pages 179-180. What did you learn about yourself through this assessment? What areas need improvement?

2. Our goal, when planning and making decisions, is to remain in a state of indifference – meaning we are completely open to the will of God, having let go of our attachments to any particular outcome. How do you think you could better prepare your heart – both personally and as a team – to be more open to the will of God?

3. How can you begin to see your limits as a gift from God that He is using in your life?

4. As you look at the four characteristics of emotionally healthy planning and decision-making, which do you think God is inviting you to embrace more fully?

– To define success as radically doing God’s will

– To create a space for heart preparation

– To pray for prudence

– To look for God in our limits

Section 8 

Week #6 – Working with Teams (Chapter 7)

“. . . I did something I never thought I’d do. I set aside all of my ministry and church-growth goals and, for the next two and half years, focused on molding a cohesive leadership team. I made it my number one priority . . . It changed everything. So much so that to this day I consider maintaining the unity of our board and our staff as one of my most important leadership priorities, far ahead of other worthy goals – including evangelism, church growth, and community outreach – because without unity, everything else falls apart.” (Larry Osborne, Sticky Teams, 25)

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Practice of Culture and Team Building” on pages 214-215. If you are currently not leading a team, but serve on a team, answer the questions as a team member. What did you learn about yourself through this exercise?

2. What elements of team culture do you intentionally cultivate with your team? Which elements do you need to develop further and how do you plan to incorporate these elements? If you are currently not leading a team, what elements need to be cultivated in the team you are serving on in order to create a healthy culture? What suggestions do you have for these elements to become a part of the culture of your team?

3. Using the Ladder of Integrity below, choose an event from your life that could have been improved if you had used this tool. Take the time to write out your responses in conclusion to each of the 10 statements. Can you see how using this tool might be helpful in all of your relationships?

10. I hope and look forward to . . .

9. I think my honest sharing will benefit our relationship by . . .

8. The most important thing I want you to know is . . .

7. One thing I could do to improve the situation is . . .

6. I am willing/not willing to . . .

5. This issue is important to me because I value . . . and I violate that value when . . .

4. My feelings about this are . . . (What my reaction tells me about me is . . .)

3. My need in this issue is . . .

2. My part in this is . . .

1. Right now this issue on my is . . . (I’m anxious in talking about his because . . .)

Section 9

Week #7– Understanding Power and Establishing Boundaries

“Few leaders have an awareness of, let alone reflect on, the nature of their God-given power. Pastors, staff leaders, ministry directors, board members, small group leaders, long-term members, donors, parents, musicians in the worship band – we all have power. The problem is that we do not understand where that power comes from, nor do we understand how to exercise it responsibly.” (Scazzero, EHL, 243)

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Use of Power and Wise Boundaries?” on pages 247-248. What did you learn about yourself through this exercise?

2. “A good test of a person’s character is how they deal with adversity. But the best test of a leader’s character is how they deal with power.” (Scazzero, EHL, 248) Using the following 6 categories, make an inventory of your power. Use the questions by each category on page 249 to guide you as you work through this inventory.

– Positional Power –

– Personal Power –

– “God factor” Power –

– Projected Power –

– Relational Power –

– Cultural Power –

3. Name one “dual relationship” that you have and one or two ways you can build safeguards into that relationship.

4. Identify one past experience where you have failed to set a wise boundary with another in your leadership. How might you do it differently today in light of what you have learned from this chapter?

 

Section 10

Week #8 – Endings and New Beginnings

“Embracing endings in order to receive new beginnings is one of the fundamental tasks of the spiritual life – and this is especially true for Christian leaders.” (Scazzero, EHL, 270)

 

 

Understanding     Endings and New Beginnings

Endings and     transitions to new beginnings are poorly handled in our ministries,     organizations, and teams for at least four reasons:

1. We accept the broader culture’s view of endings as     failure and try to avoid them at all cost.

2. We treat endings as signs of failure rather than     opportunities for something new.

3. We view endings as disconnected from our spiritual     formation in Jesus.

4. We disconnect endings from our family-of-origin     issues.

In healthy endings     and new beginnings, we move through four phases:

1. We accept that endings are a death.

2. We recognize that endings and waiting in the     “in-between” will often take longer than we think.

3. We view endings and waiting as inextricably linked     to our personal maturing in Christ.

4. We affirm that endings and waiting are the gateway     to new beginnings.

1. Complete the assessment, “How Healthy is Your Practice of Endings and New Beginnings?” on pages 273-274. What did you learn about yourself through this exercise?

2. How has your family of origin, your life experience, and/or your church background shaped your view of endings?

3. How have you been able to incorporate grieving into the endings you have experienced?

4. What do you need to let go of in your personal life and/or your leadership, and what new beginning might be standing backstage waiting to make its entrance?

Section 11 

Final Reflections 

Observations about Emotional Health and Leadership